


Childhood's End

by stelleappese



Series: Used To Being The Cat [1]
Category: Jurassic Park (Movies), Jurassic World (2015)
Genre: Gen, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, mentions of:
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-20 00:05:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4765997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stelleappese/pseuds/stelleappese
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tim and a friend decide to visit the still unopened Jurassic World to deal with their fears.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Childhood's End

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt 'Childhood's End' from [this](http://fc-smorgasbord.livejournal.com/989.html) table.
> 
> I can't help it. I'm still obsessed. I need to write all the JW-related things out of my system :P

The helicopter trip gives Tim an awful feeling of déjà vu: the sound of the rotors make as they slice through the air; the vibration that seems to seep all the way through Tim’s bones; the bright, glittering expanse of the sea underneath them, so blue it’s hard to tell where it ends and the sky begins. The island is exactly as he remembers it: from up above, it looks positively paradisiacal, all luxuriant shades of green swaying softly, the river coming into sight briefly, flowing peacefully.  
“You ok?”, asks Yusef, Tim’s housemate, gray eyes studying Tim, worried. It’s only after Yusef speaks that Tim realizes he’s been holding his breath and gripping his safety belt so hard his knuckles have turned white. He forces himself to relax, orders himself to breathe; in through his nose, out through his mouth, count while he does it, concentrate on the numbers, just like his therapist taught him, years ago, back when he was a kid and he would freeze and start hyperventilating at every particularly loud noise.  
“I’m fine”, Tim says, a bit grumpily, slightly annoyed at himself that he would feel so helpless already, when he hasn’t even set his feet on the island yet. Yusef gives him an unconvinced look.

Yusef does know about what happened to Tim the last time he visited the island, and he can relate in the deepest of ways. They only met, after all, because his family basically ran away from San Diego after the incident. He’d seen the T-Rex roam the streets, that night, plucking running people like puppets and shaking them before throwing them away. Back when they were in college, they ended up sharing a room because neither of them could sleep with the lights off, and their previous roommates had complained about it.  
They’d found out about their shared terror one night, when neither of them could sleep, sitting on Tim’s bed binge-watching Star Trek and eating gummy bears. Once they’d realized that, they never left each other’s side; mostly because an experience like that, well, it’s hard to explain to someone who hasn’t lived it, and shifts your entire perspective on life in a way normal twenty-years-olds can’t fully comprehend.

Dr. Wu is waiting for them at the helicopter pad, standing near the door. He smiles at Tim when he sees him, half-hugs him when they shake hands, which, from what Tim knows about him, is something he does very rarely. It’s not surprising, however: Tim’s grandpa had employed Dr. Wu straight out of grad school, and he’d been a constant presence in Tim’s life since he was very little. He used to help Tim with his science homework, trying to explain everything as simply as he could, but most of the time Tim would still end up staring at him, utterly confused. He would draw him dinosaurs, though, and he was very good at it, and Tim liked that.  
“Hello, doctor”, says Tim.  
“You can call me Henry, you know”, Dr. Wu says, “We’re both adults. And you’re the one looking down at me, now”, he chuckles. It’s true, too, Tim realizes, as Dr. Wu shakes hands with Yusef: Tim is at least three or four inches taller than Dr. Wu, which wasn’t the case when they last met, around the same time Masrani had started to show some interest in his work.

Jurassic World is not open to the public yet, but it is ready. The shops on Main Road are already stocked, some of the food stalls and restaurants open. The resort looks eerie, almost completely empty as it is, apart from the few members of the staff crossing the road, walking with a sense of purpose that probably means they’re off to work. The loudspeakers transmit a broken message that resonates chillingly in the air.  
“A bug in the system”, explains Dr. Wu, “They’re trying to fix it as of now. Shouldn’t take that long.”  
It’s not as hard as Tim though it would be, being there; mostly because everything looks so completely different from the old park. Then the loudspeakers go quiet, and in the distance a sad, melodic call rises. Shivers run down Tim’s spine.  
“What was _that_?”, asks Yusef, eyes wide.  
“It’s an Apatosaurus”, answers Tim, his voice barely a whisper.  
Dr. Wu nods: “That’s right”, he says, “Most likely one of those you saw in the old park, too. We managed to recover a good amount of the old specimens.”  
“The T-Rex…”, says Tim, then swallows.  
“Yes”, says Dr. Wu, guessing Tim’s question, “She’s the original one.”  
Tim nods, goosebumps blooming all over his skin.

Dr. Wu leaves them at the hotel, says they can either wait for him, he’ll be back in a couple of hours, or go to paddock nine themselves.  
“The handler is already there, she’ll show you”, he says, then: “Take your time, there’s no rush.”  
He smiles gives Tim an intense look before he leaves, squeezes his arm a little.  
“He’s right,  you know”, Yusef says, sitting on his bed, “No need to run over there.”  
“Having cold feet?”, grins Tim.  
“Shut up”, snorts Yusef, throwing the pillow chocolates at him, “I’m just saying.”

Lex once told Tim, many years after the incident, that she when she felt like her childhood died back at the island, the sense of safety that she’d given for granted, the idea that grownups had all the answers. In a way, Tim agrees with that. For him, it was also the realization that something he deeply, intensely loved had turned on him and tried to kill him.  
Problem is, the horror of that experience also left him sort of suspended: he’d been forced to face adult realizations, but he’d also clung to what remained of his childhood incredibly hard, so now the problem he has is the complete opposite: he doesn’t feel like he can fully begin his adult life, if he doesn’t face his fear. It was a difficult thing to put into words, but, luckily, when he attempted to explain it to Yusef, he’d understood anyway.

“Let’s go now. Just, you know, get settled here and go”, says Tim, “If we don’t go now, I’ll most likely barricade myself in the bathroom and refuse to come out”, he says, laughing nervously.  
“All right”, shrugs Yusef, “Do you think, hm… the T-Rex I saw, it wasn’t from this island, right? So could it be that…”  
“I’m not sure”, says Tim, “I know Alan saw a Spinosaurus kill a T-Rex on the other island, but he said he was most likely a juvenile, so it’s possible that the older one is still alive, although I have my doubts such a small island could sustain too many big carnivores…”  
“Let’s leave it at that, then”, says Yusef, “Let’s just assume it’s dead.”  
“It probably is”, says Tim, “The T-Rex on this island survived because she was the only big carnivore, and small herbivores reproduce and grow very quickly, so it was a pretty balanced environment, and…”, Yusef gives Tim the usual ‘I’m-an-ecologist-too-dude-I-know-this-stuff’ look, and Tim closes his mouth; “Sorry”, he says.  
“It’s cool, you’ve always talked too much when you got nervous”, groans Yusef, standing up and stretching, then letting his arms flop against his sides, “Let’s go.”

Finding their destination isn’t hard; they just follow the bright, cheerful signs pointing to the ‘Tyrannosaurus Rex Kingdom’. The colorful signs give Tim the creeps, but he supposes the name is fitting: after all, there’s no doubt who’s boss, in paddock nine.  
The handler is a young woman, maybe even younger than Tim and Yusef; she looks very serious, though, and they’re both a bit intimidated when they shake hands.  
“I thought I’d ask you if you’d rather not see the feeding itself. I can make her come over even without a goat, we’ve developed a Pavlovian reaction for these occasions. She won’t stay long, though”, the handler explains.  
“It’s fine with me”, says Tim. He’s really not in the mood to see an innocent little goat mauled to death, and he assumes it’s the same for Yusef.  
“Good”, says the handler, and leads them inside the viewing area. It’s dark, in there, and only a massive glass window separates them from the jungle on the other side. The handler walks to the console nearby, leaving Tim and Yusef in the middle of the room.  
“It won’t see us, will it?”, whispers Yusef. Tim shakes his head. He’s not _sure_  of it, but it would be a dumb idea to put a transparent window between a gigantic meat-eater and a bunch of excitable little kids, so he assumes, or hopes, the engineers took that into consideration when building the viewing area.  
“Get ready, boys”, says the handler. There’s a hissing sound and a read flare shoots out from above the room they’re in and lands in the middle of the clearing, sparkling and smoking. Tim and Yusef instinctively get closer to one another.  
For a few seconds, nothing happens; then it starts.  
Tim can hear her before he can see her. He hears the thump-thump-thump of her feet on the ground; he’s not sure whether he can feel the vibration in his stomach, or if his guts are knotting with fear. Yusef holds his breath beside him.  
When the T-Rex walks into the clearing, Tim is too scared to even panic.

When Tim had decided to study biology, he and his father had a massive row.  
He’d accused Tim of letting that one event in his childhood dictate on his entire life, that studying biology was just another way to cope with it, a way to try and put some logic behind the actions of a bunch of prehistoric monsters. Maybe he was right, maybe he wasn’t. To Tim, it didn’t matter.  
But studying biology, and then ecology, _had_  helped. It had put things into perspective again. It had turned a nightmarish monster into what it actually was: an animal, acting on its instincts.

The T-Rex walks slowly; she bobs her big square head with each step, like a bird, trying to keep her body low, ready to pounce. She looks around, tilts her head, confused by the lack of her lunch, blinking her little eyes.  
She’s got scars, Tim can see, probably from the time she spent alone on the island before Masrani acquired InGen and started working on the park.  
Tim’s heart pounds furiously. Yusef grabs Tim’s wrist and squeezes hard, but Tim barely registers it.  
When she’s finally figured out she won’t get any food, the T-Rex looks straight at the window, lowers her body even more, and roars. Tim jumps. Yusef turns on his side, his other hand also grabbing Tim’s arm. For a moment, Tim expects the T-Rex to charge, to be pissed, but she just lets out what sounds like an annoyed snort, turns around, and walks away.

Neither Tim nor Yusef say anything for a long time. Yusef seems to realize he’s holding on for dear life to Tim, and lets him go, Tim’s arm tingling softly as the blood starts flowing properly again. They stand there, very close to each other, both very shaken. Then Yusef swallows and says, his voice hoarse: “She was beautiful, wasn’t she?”, and the only thing Tim can do is nod quietly, his heart still pounding in his throat, an overwhelming sense of awe filling up his chest.

Dr. Wu is waiting for them outside the paddock. He gives both of them a worried look, reaches out to touch Tim’s arm and give it a gentle squeeze.  
“You look pale”, he says, “We can go get some water…”  
“Is, hm…”, Tim has to clear his throat, he still finds it a little hard to speak, “Is that margarita place on Main Street open already?”  
“Yes, it is”, says Dr. Wu, with a little smirk.  
“Cool. We should go there”, murmurs Tim, his knees still wobbling a little.  
“Yeah”, says Yusef, “Let’s go there…”  
Dr. Wu nods and leads the way.


End file.
